Let's have some real talk about the first trimester. In general, I have been very lucky to (so far) have an uncomplicated, by the books, run of the mill pregnancy. But that does not mean it has been enjoyable or that I am going to sugar coat those miserable three months. I promised to write a blog about the shitty parts of pregnancy. Well, here we go.
1) I was nauseous all the time. ALL.THE.TIME. It was like being hungover 24/7 without anything to make it better. I drank so much ginger ale that I started to just auto puke it after swallowing. I cannot bear to even think about looking at Saltines or Ritz crackers for the next 800 years. I was also one of those lucky women who had an inexplicable constant sour taste in her mouth. GROSS.
2) Actually, there was one thing that made me not feel nauseous. It was when I ate. Literally, if I was eating food, I felt better. The minute I stopped, here we go again. And just like being hungover 24/7, fast food and carbs was what made me feel better. I gained about a pound a week, setting me up for too much weight gain before this baby is here.
3) But don't you worry- I did puke. A ton! And nope, that did nothing to curb my weight gain. The grossest pregnancy moment I have had to date was laying on the couch watching The Golden Girls. Out of nowhere, truly no warning, I puked all over myself. I rolled onto my side and finished puking on the living room floor. I was disgusted with myself and my dog looked pretty horrified too. I walked to the bathroom, cleaned myself up, cleaned up the living room floor, and then ate a bowl of Oreo ice cream because remember what made me feel better? That's right. Eating. I was a complete shitshow.
4) I was emotional. SO EMOTIONAL. The truth is, I was very emotional before getting pregnant. The influx of hormones in addition to my own internal struggles with weight gain and anxiety created a shitstorm of tears. I cried all the time. I also endured a tragic loss in my family during that time and being pregnant felt like the most overwhelming thing in the world then. I was sad and I was scared. It really really sucked.
5) I have never been so tired in my whole life. I used to work 16 hour days with long commutes and I had never felt this sort of exhaustion before. All I did was eat, cry, or sleep. I felt sort of like a bear prepping for hibernation. My husband would come home from work every night to find me with a string of drool hanging from my mouth on the couch.
6) All those times when I had sore boobs before a period and thought "oh no, am I pregnant?" HA! I laugh at those times now. Because those sore boobs are nothing compared to first trimester boob pain. There were nights where I slept in a sports bra because taking it off would shoot fiery pains through my body.
BUT GUESS WHAT? Even after 3 full months of all of that in addition to heartburn, diarrhea, and headaches, I survived. Were there good parts of the first trimester too? Sure. The excitement of pregnancy, telling family and close friends secretly before public announcements, the first ultrasound were all moments that made it worth it. But do not let anyone try to fool you- growing a human being is no joke and most likely your body will LOSE IT'S SHIT for the first few months. I am sure there are mamas out there with similar, or worse, stories than mine and all I can do is commend each one of them for making it through. I used to pick my head up from the toilet, look at my husband with tears in my eyes, and say "I have no idea why any woman would ever do this to herself again." So for you moms with more than one kids, I give you an extra round of applause. Ultimately, the first trimester taught me that women are warriors. Gassy, tired, emotional, pukey warriors.